An exciting summer event is the annual county fair. The farther away you live from a city, the more of a big deal the fair is. We have neighbors who participate in the demolition derby. They prepare their junk automobiles months in advance, spray-painting them with catchy nicknames like “The Dominator” and “Sweet Lorraine.” The demolition derby is not to be confused with the truck pull or the tractor pull. These are separate events entirely! The fair lasts over a week, so young and old can choose which nights they want to attend. The teens prefer Fridays and Saturdays. Retired folks prefer mid-week, when the blue ribbon pie and livestock awards are presented.
We never ate before going to the fair, as the food was the best part. The traffic heading to the fair was bumper to bumper for miles. This added to the excitement. Wooden signs adorned the highway as we crawled at a snail’s pace: “You’re almost there! Funnel cake, buy one get one free! Lawnmower races, 7pm!”
Once at the fairgrounds, we parked a quarter of a mile away in a grassy field, which was either muddy from recent rains or dusty due to recent drought. Teenage boys in sleeveless flannel shirts directed us where to park. They motioned for us to come closer and closer. These young men expressed disgust if we left six inches between our vehicle and the car in front. Walking into the fairgrounds was exhilarating. It gave you a glimpse of what was to come: parents struggling with strollers and toddlers, sullen teens trying to avoid walking with their parents and bickering young couples.
At the front gate, which was literally a wooden gate, we paid five dollars and received a ticket, which we immediately gave to another ticket taker three feet away. We walked around to ‘take it in’ and view the food stands. It was important to plan the noshing sensibly. If we were going to gain seven pounds eating unhealthy food, we might as well make our culinary options worthwhile. (Either way the night would end with a good dose of Pepto Bismol.) We decided to start off with something hot and hearty, like chili dogs and cheese steaks made by the local fire department. We also enjoyed sausage sandwiches and meatball subs proudly prepared by the Ladies Auxiliary.
Other delights of the local peasantry were foods on a stick. These included grilled corn on the cob and cheesecake dipped in chocolate. Then there were the fried goodies, like elephant ears (fried dough sprinkled with cinnamon) and funnel cake (fried dough topped with confectioners’ sugar.) One year our county fair stopped using lard, for health reasons, and switched to vegetable oil. Complaints about diminished flavor were heard all around, so lard was brought back due to consumer demand!
Rides at the county fair were a lot like the ones at the beach, only not as safe. The attendants looked like they’d been given a weekend furlough. The straps on the rides were frayed and sticky with cotton candy. We had to time going on the rides precisely, so as not to induce nausea. Walking through the livestock buildings was a good option right after eating, despite the smell. We were dazzled by the county’s prized bunnies, chickens, horses and steer. The baby chicks peeped their way into our hearts. Smitten, we promised ourselves we’d build a coop and keep a dozen of those precious fluff balls in our yards. This feeling usually passed once we exited the barn.
The demolition derby was a thrill. Juggling bags of roasted nuts and cold sodas, we climbed the metal stairs to watch the heats. This was where the assemblage of people really got interesting. We sat near an entire family who wore John Deere tee shirts and baseball caps; it was hard to tell the ladies from the gents. For an hour, I became the unwilling custodian of a precocious toddler in a camouflage-print diaper and no shoes. The stands were packed with raucous spectators. We raised our plastic mugs in a universal salute. We cheered for the drivers as they drove in a manner that would normally get them arrested. We urged them on until their vehicles were smashed to the size of Tonka trucks.
Artisans and crafters had stands set up for the art lovers. One could buy crocheted potholders, silver and turquoise jewelry and lawn ornaments made from farm implements. Home décor, which incorporated chicken and piglet motifs, was also popular.
The last night of the fair hosted a fireworks show; a celebration that ended with a bang, and a sad reminder that summertime was over.
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